In a word…petrifying. Well it was, but I am starting to come to terms with it. For starters I got off on a bad footing with my water intake. Before my holiday to Bali, I was solidly drinking 4-6 litres of water every day without fail. In Bali I ate lots of healthy foods, but definitely overall ate more calories and neglected my water. When I got home I was ill for the first week and not training, and by the time I got back into training and onto my bulking calories it was nearly the end of September, and had been a good 3 weeks off any real sort of plan.
I realised last Saturday that I had seriously let my water intake slip. I looked in the mirror and felt sluggish, bloated and horrible. YAY bulking. I could have kicked myself. I know how important drinking water is, and how much not drinking enough effects me and makes me feel, so I was so frustrated with myself that I had let things slip.
Already I feel HUGE. Now that’s not a cry for attention, I know I’m not, but the more you train and concentrate on changing your body, the more you notice every minor change.
I am currently carrying 3 extra lbs. Probably 1/2lbs of that is water that I haven’t lost yet, and I also feel bloated, not forgetting I am taking creatine which is well known to cause bloating. All in all I am struggling and I wish those girls with those fantastic bodies would share that a bit more.
All I see on social media from the girls whose bodies I aspire to have, is lean,strong, beautiful bodies, and there is no way they can be like that all year round. I know that in order to gain muscle I must eat in calorie surplus, and with that will inevitably come some fat gain. So as I muddle my way through this journey I want to share with you all exactly how I am feeling, and show you my body going through all of its changes.
My boyfriend and my trainer can all tell me a hundred times that this is necessary, that they all feel like this when going through a bulking phase, but this is the first time for me, and I cant help but question the process, question if I am gaining weight to quickly, and question if I am training hard enough to have any real impact.
My head is packed with doubts and fears for this process, but I do so badly want the end result, and everything I have learnt so far has proven that this is the only way to get it. As my trainer reminded me last night, it takes 7 weeks to lose a stone healthily. 7 weeks. That is more than do able. I need to focus myself on the outcome, push through those insecurities and get through these next few months. I may feel chunkier, and I may feel a bit bloated from the carbs, but I DO feel strong, and I am enjoying pushing myself and lifting heavier weights. This will be good for me, it will allow me to build my muscles, and when I do lean out next year will reveal a stronger, leaner, more muscular version of me.
So hows your bulk going? Lets use #teambulk on instagram and keep talking about it, the more open we are with each other the more we will realise were not alone.